Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
