I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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