this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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