I hope mine doesn't look like that
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
