Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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