Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
