Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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