It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
