there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
