i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
