I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
