how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize