U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
