We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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