soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
