I must be too annoying 4 u.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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