I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
