Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
