The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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