as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
