woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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