the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
