i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
