i think my mom watched the whole time
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
