If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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