He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
