I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
