why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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