where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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