All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
