You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
