508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you had me at cake vodka
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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