honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
