awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
