Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
