i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My vagina is officially offended.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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