i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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