I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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