ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
