i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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