Don't you send me to vm
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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