i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
