I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
