I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
