i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
