Got a toothbrush?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
