Cold hands, warm shart.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
