East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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