he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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