sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This girl is more easily done than said...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
