he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
false alarm, still single
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